i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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