Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize