Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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