So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dude i'm inner monologue high
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
