He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
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Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
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Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... ๐ฏ๐๐๐
Do I even want to know?
What do you mean you havenโt had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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