Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
