her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
