you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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