My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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