You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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