their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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