Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
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