i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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