I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I want a musical about memes.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
