just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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