areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
