I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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