I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
