R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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