I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Randomize
