I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
