is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
