The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize