if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Randomize
