When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
