i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
