captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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