My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
