If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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