Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
