Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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