oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
