About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
