If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
