I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
