Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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