Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
