Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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