I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
