It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
