Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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