thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
