marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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