You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
