So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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