Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
