I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
