we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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