he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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