So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
