Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
