I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
ugly people sure do ruin things
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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