his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
