you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
