i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
