Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
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